Murphy’s Laws of TEOTWAWKI

TEOTWAWKI Murphy's Laws of TEOTWAWKI Survival

We decided to take a lighter look TEOTWAWKI with a Survival Cache original,  Murphy’s Laws of TEOTWAWKI.  If you know Murphy then you know, if it can happen…..it will.


Murphy’s Laws of TEOTWAWKI

From Wikipedia: Murphy’s Law is an adage that is typically stated as: “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong”.

1.  Food, you still don’t have enough

2.  People without back up shelters might be without shelter

3.  People with guns and no food are finding out that people with food have guns too

4.  Look hungry, they might leave you alone.

5.  Seed bank, the new source of wealth

6.  Insects, It’s what’s for dinner

7.  Gun shots, they attract unwanted attention

8.  Ask everyone if they have food or water, Jedi mind tricks might work on desperate people

9.  Wood burning stoves, they are like pots of gold

10.  The less people you know, the better off you are

11.  Mormons, suddenly they have a lot of new friends
TEOTWAWKI Survival

12.  Friendly hungry people…..aren’t

13.  People who thought they could make it with just a survival knife are finding out they can’t

14.  Satellite Dishes, they make great family dinner tables

15.  If invited to a dinner party and you can’t figure out what’s on the menu, it’s you

16.  Houses full of food attract the unwanted envy of hungry people

17.  Friends who show up without food are not good friends

18.  Electricity, the good old daysTEOTWAWKI

19.  Dog Food, who knew

20.  Cash, its a great way to start a fire

21.  Alternative energy, you’re kicking yourself now for not investing in it

22.  Watching your garden grow, the new Sunday afternoon sport

23.  The Government, it will feed itself first

24.  Large groups of people with guns make the rules

25.  Bad water & Montezuma’s Revenge, they have come to America

26.  People who thought the Government would save them, found out that it didn’t

27.  Hospitals, no longer a place of healing

28.  EMP, now everyone knows what it means

29.  Sandy dry soil, suddenly not such a cool place to live anymore

30.  If food is the new currency then fresh water is a hot commodity

31.  Gold coins, they don’t taste very good

32.  Toilet paper, should have bought more of that stuff

33.  Ham radio operators, who are the nerds now?

34.  Burning Green Wood = Smoke / Smoke = Attention / Attention = Bad

35.  Trying to start a fire with two sticks?  Should have stocked up on more matches

Visit Our New Survival Gear Store – Forge Survival Supply

Please add your Murphy’s Laws of TEOTWAWKI to the comments below.

{ 141 comments… read them below or add one }

Josh November 16, 2010 at 6:27 pm

36. Your 'bug in' home is just a big pile of firewood.

Reply

ChristianRebel November 16, 2010 at 6:44 pm

37.) Those neighbors you called "crazy" for trying to warn you about what just happened, they now look awful smart.

Reply

ChristianRebel November 16, 2010 at 3:44 pm

37.) Those neighbors you called "crazy" for trying to warn you about what just happened, they look awful smart now that it has happened.

Reply

Roman Redna November 16, 2010 at 4:08 pm

38.) The Amish – Prepared for TEOTWAWKI since 1699.

Reply

Rabbit July 20, 2012 at 4:30 am

Seriously. And I see they have a reality show on tv bothering them. All I can think it, "leave the Amish alone, they are the only sane people in this country!"

Reply

henry November 16, 2010 at 8:36 pm

9 MM the new currency

Reply

lmeehan1332 November 16, 2010 at 8:43 pm

40. Your GPS makes a great paper wieght

Reply

bostonsurvival November 17, 2010 at 12:28 am

41.) That fancy new sitdown lawnmower you bought instead of that generator isn't looking like such a good idea now.

Reply

antman July 20, 2012 at 8:23 pm

actually, ur gps will work for years after apocalypse, provided that ur car is full of gas to recharge it.

Reply

bostonsurvival November 16, 2010 at 9:28 pm

41.) That fancy new sitdown lawnmower you bought instead of that generator isn't looking like such a good idea now.

Reply

readyfreddy November 22, 2012 at 6:08 pm

actually, if you have the gas and a power inverter and best of all, and maybe some spare car batteries, that sit down mower becomes a generator. Necessity is the mother of invention :)

Reply

Bill Hufman November 17, 2010 at 2:23 pm

For want of a firing pin, the weapon was lost. For want of a weapon the skirmish was lost. For want of a victory, the food was lost. For want of the food the lives were lost. All for the want of a pin.

Reply

Tom November 17, 2010 at 3:43 pm

The boy scouts always had it right "Be Prepared" perhaps some day my kids will find all this stuff and think "Boy dad was a little crazy" and I hope that's the way it ends up. Hate to think they have to come running for food because the world went crazy.

Reply

MadManDan November 19, 2010 at 10:34 am

Great sentiment Tom, I agree completely!

Reply

caine30 November 29, 2010 at 3:09 pm

that is one of the worst fears of any Dad/Mom in the world.

Reply

Spencer November 19, 2010 at 2:17 am

Bouillon powder. Not really a spice, but a hot cup of broth after being in the cold all day is a treat. Lawry's is good on almost anything. The worst freaking part about an apocalypse is finding/making butter! Admit it. Any food you can manage to scrounge up WTSHTF would taste better with butter. I saw a documentary about a lake underneath Antarctica called Lake Vostok, and a Russian scientist that lives there said the best way to warm up is to eat a stick of butter.

Reply

adventureK9(YT) November 19, 2010 at 12:26 pm

All great choices above. Personally, I'd want something that is easy to turn around. I would avoid anything requiring a trailer since backing up on a rough trail or evading an ambush might be a problem.

Reply

MadManDan November 19, 2010 at 1:12 pm

It kind of depends on where you live and what happens, but all things being equal, I like the 6X6 argo with the canopy and skid plate, the pickup, and the mountain bike. You can make a full size enclosed trailer into a faraday cage, put your argo, equipment, and electronics in there (for EMP's), hitch that to your pickup, and put your mountain bike(s) in the bed. Full protection for whatever might arise.

Reply

Dean November 19, 2010 at 1:20 pm

Glad to see the Ridgeback mentioned. I had one for seven years before losing him to cancer. He was awesome! Had more personality than some humans I know. In fact, my family used to kid and call him Scooby-Doo, as he behaved more like a person than a dog. He was very loyal to me, and would listen usually, but if he got it into his head he was going to do something, he would do it, no matter how much I tried to stop him. Not to say he was aggressive or attacked anybody, but if he wanted to scout or chase an animal, he would, so they can be stubborn at times. And he wasn't a neglected dog that only went out on walks, he was my right hand for those seven years, even going cross country with me once. I haven't had another dog since him, and he died in '04, only because I'm still of the mindset that he was the best dog ever and no dog could live up to him. Someday that will change and I'll consider another dog. But kudos for listing the Ridgeback, they are a great breed.

Reply

irridesent November 19, 2010 at 5:24 pm

I posted this on SurvivalMom a short while ago on the same topic :
Ok, unless I'm mistaken, I'd like a horse. Drive to the country, find an old farmer, and ask if he would barter for a horse in exchange for you feeding it, cleaning out the barn, fixing up his/her house. If gas skyrockets (it already has) and/or emp happens, old bessy might be worth her weight in food!! Yes, you will still have to go get her but it is a good way to meet someone who has spent their whole life living off the land and along with gaining a new friend(s), you would learn a thing or two as well as helping someone out; you both benefit.

Reply

alan November 19, 2010 at 5:28 pm

I went with the Ka-Bar Cutlass, mostly for the Ka-Bar name…my Ka-Bar I had when I was in the Corps, although it became rusted and corroded with our many surf entries and exits, always cut whatever I needed to cut…we'll see with this machete.

Reply

Tommy from Chicago April 9, 2012 at 10:54 pm

National Park? All of them? Really… that was kinda my idea of a fall back plan. It’s the closest place within 500 miles that doesn’t have convienence stores and lots of people. Figured it would be a better place than near a crowded city. What would be a better option?

Reply

roke November 19, 2010 at 5:59 pm

Stock up on dryer lint. It lights easily and as long as you're doing laundry you've got an endless supply and it's free. You still need to provide a spark but that and some dry sticks is what I use all winter long in my wood stove.

Reply

lmeehan1332 November 19, 2010 at 10:30 pm

P.A.C.E-
Primary
Alternate
Contingency
Emergency
If you end every pac list with something you can make from your suroundings then your set.
EX: Fire
lighter
matches
firesteel
bowdrill

Reply

lmeehan1332 November 19, 2010 at 10:31 pm

*E 6th line 5th word

Reply

microcapmaven November 19, 2010 at 11:10 pm

Where do you guys plan to get fuel when TSHTF? I went for the sailboat option.

Reply

Watchdog November 20, 2010 at 1:30 am

Nobody seems to have thought of the best way to Get Out Of Dodge….Fast! While all you guys are sitting in gridlock fighting off all those "zombies", I could be zipping high overhead in my ultralight. No ambush worries. Can land on a country road. Loads of space for two BOB's and a passenger. 250 miles on a full tank of regular gas, as the crow flies. Bye.

Reply

Tommy from Chicago April 9, 2012 at 10:44 pm

I’ve been thinking about that too… However, where are you gonna get the fuel? No electricty = no gas pumps. No economy = no oil refinery workers. Crowded roads of starving zombies = no fuel delivery trucks. Land on some country road = no way of carrying 50 gallons of fuel back to the plane. 250 miles isn’t that far anyway?

The BEST way to get out of dodge fast is the motorcycle I chose. BMW R1200GS Adventure. 500 mile + range with extra fuel tank, can carry a ton of stuff, quiet, fast, you pick the fuel fill up location, and can get around any traffic jam or blocked road.

Reply

SurvivorHerbalist April 12, 2012 at 2:07 pm

You could read Alcohol Can be a Gas! by David Blume Ethanol can be made from switchgrass so it is profitable, unlike using corn. Corn isn’t very profitable for food either. Plus you won’t be dependent on foreign oil. It will be the only viable fuel soon. Algae might be great too, but the overhead is more.

Reply

tienshanman November 20, 2010 at 2:36 am

What a bunch of nonsense typical of a car infatuated society. If all hell breaks loose where do you think you are going to get the fuel and the parts to keep these hunks of metal running. Answer: you are not. If you have an "earthroamer" you'll be roaming until your tank runs dry or you rip a tire, good luck after that. Unless you are in first class physical shape you are toast.

Reply

Rick from Tampa November 22, 2010 at 9:56 pm

Ace Frehley's 1960 Gibson Les Paul is no longer worth $150,000. It's just vintage firewood.

Reply

cautionaryprose November 23, 2010 at 2:53 am

Snow and cold weather. It's Free water and a refrigerator so stop whining.

Reply

Donald Watson November 26, 2010 at 11:59 pm

There once was a man named Larmen,
who saved and horded rolled Charmin.
The End Of The World As We Know It will come he said.
And if you try to swipe my wipe,
I’ll fill your thieving head with lead.

Reply

Doktor Jeep November 27, 2010 at 12:00 am

The uber leetness you built yourself up to in that video game – who are you now that the power is out?

Reply

Livemike November 27, 2010 at 12:29 am

40. The National Guardsman corner are guarding the other National Guardsmen on the corner – and nobody else.
41. The National Guardsmen on the corner can be divided into two groups – the scared and the starving, the scared will buy ammunition, the starving will sell it.

Reply

Livemike November 27, 2010 at 2:43 am

41a. The starving National Guardsmen will sell their ammunition for food not "money"
41b. Occasionally in cold parts freezing National Guardsmen will sell ammunition for anything
flammable, making them the only people to accept US currency.

Reply

Senach November 27, 2010 at 2:57 am

Your empowered ,independent ex wife,whom hated your gut's,suddenly decides that she still love's you and those annoying pastime's like hunting and fishing is suddenly so cool.

Reply

Anonymous November 27, 2010 at 5:42 am

"33. Ham radio operators, who are the nerds now?"

Training and equip good, license not so much.

Reply

galen066 November 27, 2010 at 7:20 am

40 (?) The future is not a Hollywood movie.

41 Bear Grillis is now a dead idiot.

42 You can't eat ammunition.

Reply

Mike November 27, 2010 at 7:25 am

Suddenly, your wife loves your hunting cabin more than you do.

Reply

Big Roy November 27, 2010 at 8:22 am

A garage full of power tools are all museum pieces. That is why I use and collect hand tools. You never lose power.

Reply

Chefbear58 January 2, 2011 at 11:22 pm

Unless you loose a limb that is! But good point none the less!

Reply

Tom November 27, 2010 at 9:21 am

Henry…If you're relying on a 9mm as currency…you 're going to come out short in any close quarter exchange. You honestly need to step up to a good .40 such as the S&W M&P. A terriffic hand-gun and very concealable. Tom M

Reply

Ignotz Krapotkin November 27, 2010 at 9:22 am

Cat Food: Who cares if it doesn't make its own gravy???
The Toilet: Don't flush it just yet, you'll want the water in the tank, eh?
Your Spoiled Kids: Bad behaviour no longer seems so cute.

Reply

Matt November 27, 2010 at 10:30 am

A firearm without ammunition is an expensive club (rifle/shotgun) or paperweight (handgun).

Reply

polly November 27, 2010 at 11:29 am

Control the food = control the people

Reply

Ol' Billy November 27, 2010 at 3:42 pm

He means to exchange ammo for other goods.
.40s are not very common around these parts but 22LRs are common everywhere.
And then maybe .45 acp or 38 spl. but 22LR ammo would be excellent money.

Reply

jon November 28, 2010 at 7:07 am

No matter how bad things might seem to be, don't worry. They'll get worse. (Murphy?)

Reply

George November 30, 2010 at 2:24 pm

#42
Right ! But " AMMUNITION CAN HELP YOU EAT "!!

Reply

Dennis November 30, 2010 at 7:32 pm

Does no one watch or read end of the earth stories, like the TV series "Walking Dead". Survival comes down to luck and how pre prepared you are for it, physically, mentally, and what skills you have.Getting out of a city if you live in one is going to be the biggest challenge. Once out what then? People, uninformed, might follow you then what? You got a cool place to go great so does a 1,000 other people. (Dumb idea of the week, set up in a National park.) All plans go to sh.. on first contact. Luck will be the decider.

Reply

Harry Baldwin November 30, 2010 at 10:41 pm

On-line survival info–if only you'd printed it out when computers still worked.

Rottweilers and looters–a perfect symbiosis.

Your local police force–the best-equipped gang in town.

Gasoline once again 25 cents a gallon–in pre-1965 coinage.

Liberals–doncha miss 'em?

Reply

Chefbear58 January 2, 2011 at 11:30 pm

On the "Liberals– doncha miss 'em?"…. Nope got the last one at 200yds with my rifle! Lets go get his gear!

Reply

Harry Baldwin November 30, 2010 at 10:41 pm

On-line survival info–if only you'd printed it out when computers still worked.

Rottweilers and looters–a perfect symbiosis.

Your local police force–the best-equipped gang in town.

Gasoline once again 25 cents a gallon–in pre-1965 coinage.

Liberals–doncha miss 'em?

Reply

FredBixby December 1, 2010 at 12:09 am

Honey, you just flushed the tomato fertilizer.

Reply

jc4jax December 1, 2010 at 5:32 pm

A big threat maybe not addressed is EMP attack. A Faraday cage to protect any valuable electronics such as a flashlight, radio, etc.

Reply

Mike December 2, 2010 at 6:12 pm

Kevlar stops bullets but not broadheads.

Reply

Chefbear58 January 2, 2011 at 11:26 pm

LOT quieter to!!!

Reply

Chefbear58 January 2, 2011 at 11:42 pm

When you think you are safe, secure and quiet?…. check your mags, load one in the "pipe", double the guard (if you can) and get ready for some "fun"!

Don't bother concealing your handgun, nobody else is…. but conceal your backup!

Who knew you could make so many dishes out of the neighbors pets?!

This proves you can "shake and bake" ANYTHING!

Interstate packed with abandoned cars…. the new "convenience store"

in the woods- no wildlife around…. somebody else is there and they probably aren't "friendly"

fencing around the garden now keeps the deer… and neighbors out!

Reply

Jan Rufer January 17, 2011 at 5:00 am

If the poop hits the propellor you'd better step out of the way…

Reply

Jan Rufer January 17, 2011 at 5:02 am

Behind every wife there is a hungry stepmother… ;>

Reply

Chris W January 19, 2011 at 12:13 am

Let people keep thinking 9 mm is the way to go. Better for me in the long run!

Reply

Chad Z from Wisconsin January 29, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Funny thing about those who say 9mm, .38, .32 ACP (or whatever) are worthless calibers… they never accept the challenge of taking a hit from one to proof the worthlessness of the caliber.

Reply

jdakajaydee January 21, 2011 at 11:03 pm

first aid comes before last aid.

Reply

crazy uncle February 8, 2011 at 7:52 pm

hopefully,people will keep laughing at us.if the ballon drops,we will be consitered seers

Reply

duggy March 8, 2011 at 6:27 pm

tuna and 9 mm shells ; folding burn anything fire box stove ; water still ; water condenser ; thermal wrap ; sleeping bag ; tree house ;

Reply

Feet on Ground May 30, 2011 at 4:04 am

Would a treehouse not stck stick out like a sore thumb in winter when people are most desperate?

Great idea for the green months though!

Reply

Kat March 23, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Make it in an Evergreen? lol

Reply

badt44 March 17, 2011 at 11:37 am

Be careful what you wish for you just might get it

Reply

Fyrguy335 March 26, 2011 at 9:00 pm

#43 Those with loaded guns won’t buy your wares if their freezing, starving or est; they’ll just take’em.

#44 Avoidance of others is imperative (anyone outside your group) is a potential threat to your gear and rations and should be viewed and treated accordingly.

#45 Saltwater is death. Yet add heat and its salt for food and fresh water.

#46 Ammunition should be rationed for protection. There’s more than one way to skin a cat.

Reply

guiltyak47 March 28, 2011 at 10:33 pm

a 6ft woodin fence will falls easly in the wind… it will fall for hungry neighbors.
a gun is just a piece of metal unless you know how to handle it.
7.62×39 cheap, abundent, hits like a truck… one shot one kill.
the less electronics in a car the better (older vehicals)

Reply

wyzyrdap April 14, 2011 at 7:15 pm

<11. Mormons, suddenly they have a lot of new friends>

My next-door neighbor is LDS (I'm not).She has asked me on numerous occasions to accept UPS shipments of storable food while she's at work as an RN/surgical assistant. I keep reminding her I have more stored food than she does just to keep her on her toes. When TSHTF, she can have a seat in my evac vehicle.

Reply

CaptBart November 22, 2011 at 7:45 pm

My wife and I have a good friend who is LDS. We've helped their charity a few time (they make peanut butter) and they usually let us keep a jar or two of what we've helped make. Then this year we were invited to use the canning facility. We went with a group of church members (that's when I found out I'm a "normal"; I don't think I've ever been called that before:-) ) and put together #10 cans of the stuff we wanted. Paid their price for it and the group made up what they needed plus some extra for the "Bishop's pantry". We picked up 9 boxes (6 #10 cans each) for much less than wholesale. Filled some holes for us and helped others out as well. The LDS pantry (AKA Mormon Pantry) is a great idea; their history can certainly teach us some things if we'll pay attention.

Reply

Privateer 1776 October 22, 2013 at 11:15 pm

Mormons have guns too…………….. They bought Browning some years ago.

Reply

TINDERWOLF May 6, 2011 at 9:20 pm

You can't be prepared for everything, but the one thing you can do that will allow you to deal with almost anything is be mentally prepared for anything.

Reply

indep1 September 24, 2011 at 7:17 pm

Hope for the best, plan for the worst, and try to survive whatever comes your way.

Reply

BIG D May 17, 2011 at 7:54 am

Look for fat friends to help you, if a problem starts and the crowd gets wild, you can out run them

Reply

Ironman June 28, 2011 at 1:19 pm

The training and license go hand in hand.

Reply

church September 22, 2011 at 8:44 am

no one can't eat ammo..but one can start a fire with it and cook what one kills with it then one can eat what he/she cooks

Reply

church September 22, 2011 at 8:46 am

yea but she has to sleep on the other side of your two new girlfriends…..

Reply

squiddy1 October 13, 2011 at 9:48 pm

An AR will keep the bad guys pinned down behind the car.
An AK will go thru the car.
And a picture of my mother in law will make all of you drop your weapons.

Reply

Instructor April 15, 2012 at 6:29 am

Just so you know the 5.56 mm round will go thru a car. As will 9mm, .40 and .45. Cars are not cover from gunfire.

Reply

squiddy1 October 13, 2011 at 9:52 pm

Did someone say Al GORE WAS RIGHT ?

Reply

Instructor April 15, 2012 at 6:29 am

NOT ME!!!

Reply

squiddy1 October 13, 2011 at 9:57 pm

The 1975 Dodge Dart .
1) immune to an EMP
2) No one will steal it
3) People laughing to hard when you drive by to do you any harm.
4) The cloud of smoke will Keep the insects away
5) And if it gets destroyed WHO CARES ?
The 1975 Dodge Dart Proud sponser of TEOTWAWKI

Reply

pat January 1, 2012 at 3:41 pm

only disagreement i have: starting a fire with 2 sticks (aka bowdrill) isn't that hard, and you won't run out of sticks

Reply

GIOVANNI January 3, 2012 at 6:37 am

MANY YEARS BACK WE ALL READ THAT IN HISTORY, BUFFALO BILL SHOT DOWN HUNDREDS OR PERHAPS THOUSANDS OF BUFFALOES IN ORDER TO MAKE WAY FOR THE NEW TRANSPORTATION (THE TRAIN) THIS WAS VERY SAD. NOW THERE IS ANOTHER REASON TO TAKE DOWN THE BUFFALOES, (FOOD) THAT IS IF THERE IS ANY BUFFALOES LEFT AFTER A NUKE STRIKE. THIS WILL ALSO BE VERY SAD.

Reply

Blackwolf March 23, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Years of prepping,ready for anything. TSHTF and you are finally on that family vacation out of the country you always wanted to go on.

Reply

Kelly March 27, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Stock up on Shake and Bake, you can make anything taste like chicken.

Reply

550cordfreak April 27, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Murphy's law is a paradox… If anything that can go wrong (or be wrong), will go wrong (will be wrong). Therefore, these could be wrong, which would make it right, which would make it wrong, which would make it right, which would make it wrong, which would make it right which would…………..

Reply

550cordfreak April 27, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Whoops…

Reply

Dan Sherwood May 12, 2012 at 3:16 pm

The Amish "oh something happened, we didn't notice"

Reply

risa June 15, 2012 at 1:30 pm

.22 short — often quiet enough.

Reply

DisasterGuy July 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

43. Murphy's Laws of TEOTWAWKI on my computer, wish I'd written them down

Reply

Ian July 25, 2012 at 9:58 pm

42 Irradiated food is still food.
43 Anyone who thought a .22 would be adequate for combat against mutants and bandits are dead
44 Spending money on a new game console instead of a reloading bench was stupid
45 Don't bother scavenging in the big city ruins they're highly irradiated.

Reply

Ian July 25, 2012 at 10:14 pm

oh I almost forgot 46 no glove=love we need to repopulate

Reply

Ian July 26, 2012 at 12:08 am

Rule 20 is wrong cash is good because you could run into a working vending machine that you can't break into

Reply

Lou September 6, 2012 at 3:10 pm

It would have to be hooked up to a genny. It's been years since I've seen manual vending machines other then gumball

Reply

Dee April 11, 2013 at 10:28 pm

My axe, desperation, pms for chocolate and hungry stomach would beg to differ on your theory of a mythical "working vending machine that you can't break into"

Reply

Mnhunter3982 August 7, 2012 at 10:01 pm

sipping a 40 takes on a whole new meaning

Reply

Mnhunter3982 August 7, 2012 at 10:03 pm

drink a 40 or 9 or 45

Reply

tyrel carrick August 18, 2012 at 9:38 am

Toilet paper is nice but it stands out. An old rag does just as good and its really useable.

Reply

Pooly September 17, 2012 at 6:57 pm

You find yourself wishing you'd paid more attention to your mom when she use to talk about surviving the depression

Reply

The Wiseman October 9, 2012 at 6:06 pm

HOW TO COOK RICE OVERNIGHT WITH FIVE MINUTES OF PROPANE AND A SPACE BLANKET:
Set up camp stove w/16 oz. Propane bottle ($5.55 for two @ Walmart). Bring pot of water to boil (4 minutes). Dump in rice & any additions (seasoning, salt, terioki sauce, etc.). Let boil one minute; shut down stove to save Propane. Immediately wrap pot in space blanket. Place wrapped pot in styrofoam drink cooler. Fill cooler around pot w/plastic packing peanuts, bubblewrap, crumpled newspapers, and/or a blanket. Close lid. LEAVE CLOSED FOR SIX HOURS (overnight).
OPEN LID. Perfect hot dinner and only used 5 minutes of Propane. That Propane bottle will last for months if you use it only 5 minutes/day in this way.

Reply

Chris October 10, 2012 at 3:26 pm

#n: Everyone who plans to "Head for the hills!" finds out they will not find the hills if they don't already own one.

Reply

gilles November 11, 2012 at 8:51 am

You discover that sex stamina greatly decreases along with the low food intake & that your wife has found a new job that blows away trading

Reply

readyfreddy November 22, 2012 at 6:15 pm

People who were devastated by Sandy complain about loss of power when they were surrounded by power by way of vehicles (provided their engines weren't flooded). They merely had to buy a good inverter and an extension cord and start the car (plug the inverter into the cigarette lighter). Even if they were flooded, they just remove batteries from flooded cars for a short term power source. Chaining multiple batteries together in the right way and connecting your inverter to one of the batteries provides an even longer source of power.

Reply

Dan Tillman December 9, 2012 at 8:17 pm

All those morons on "SURVIVAL THE (Whatever") are now food!! (Including the production crew!!)

Reply

Dan Tillman December 9, 2012 at 8:19 pm

Remember the LONE RANGER and his SILVER BULLETS? ….He had something there!! (Gold too!!!)

Reply

RangerJ December 20, 2012 at 3:03 pm

- If you like shiny things, sell your gold and invest in shiny bullets.
- You can't eat bullets but they will convert to food/fuel/anything else faster than baubles.

Reply

Zed January 9, 2013 at 12:36 pm

Love this list – laughing my ass off.

Reply

LIttle Johnny February 4, 2013 at 12:15 am

I think you mean the Amish not the Mormons. As for matches. Real simple solution. Get a magnifying glass. Lasts forever. Good point re insects. Around 80% protein and no weird parasites to worry about. Beans! Easy to grow, easy to store and packed with protein. Reality check though. Man has always evolved forwards not backwards. We are not psychologically prepared for reverse gear. I suspect Hundreds of millions will simply commit suicide. I work in the oil industry. I'm afraid Teotwaki is not far off.

Reply

Grego February 4, 2013 at 12:22 am

How long will trees last as we burn up the last remaining cheap oil? Bottomline. 7 Billion people on planet earth simply won't work. And everyday you hear about wonderful break throughs in modern medicine and how this new vaccine will save millions of lives in Africa or where ever. Oh yeah they really going to thank you for that one, frigging idiots. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Reply

Privateer 1776 October 22, 2013 at 11:59 pm

Over-population is a myth. Take the world population and divide it by the square footage of the State of Alaska alone and you will see that every swinging dick on the planet will have 450+ square foot of living space in Alaska ALONE. You don't sincerely believe technology cannot overcome the fuels issue do you? We are the most advanced beings on the planet. The powers that be are withholding information from us now. The jet engine was developed back in the mid to late 40's. I would bet there has been greater developments in the propulsion industry than the powers that be are letting on to. Put at least a little faith in your fellow beings. Keep a wary eye on those that seek power and control over others. Infowars.com

Reply

christian prepper February 14, 2013 at 5:14 pm

that is right FTW God put animals there for us to eat, now we need kill the animal respectfully but darnit if the stores stop selling food Iam going hunting! Happy hunting and fishing

Reply

christian prepper February 14, 2013 at 5:16 pm

oooooh i am felliing pretty stupid right know you were taking about the nighbors well i was taking about meat

Reply

josie wales May 5, 2013 at 5:53 pm

Always remember….Murphy was an optimist!

Reply

Guy October 14, 2013 at 4:33 pm

45. Those neighbors who called you "crazy" for prepping and trying to warn them about what just happened, are now part of the hungry hord, with a battering ram, trying to break down your door ! MORAL: Be very careful who you tell what you're doing !

Reply

Guy October 14, 2013 at 5:00 pm

45. Those neighbors who called you "crazy" for prepping and trying to warn them about what just happened, are now part of the hungry hord, with a battering ram, trying to break down your door !
MORAL: Be very careful who you tell what you're doing !

Reply

Judy October 30, 2013 at 10:54 am

Keep them in the freezer or microwave when not in use

Reply

Aston December 14, 2013 at 2:42 pm

A large fuel supply, or alternative cooking method will have to be used, and hunting if it is available.

Reply

Zoe January 6, 2014 at 10:39 am

Exactly! Large groups of people with guns make the rules! Reality!

Reply

Addison January 6, 2014 at 11:46 am

Look hungry, they might leave you alone. sad reality! tsk

Reply

Roger February 16, 2014 at 11:44 am

Look hungry, fine! Look weak, be on the menu! No claws, flat teeth, weak jaws, can't run fast or far, tastes like canned chicken or canned pork (who can tell the difference anymore), dumb enough to walk into your Kill Zone for the cost of a fake promise, yes, Long Pork is the future of not-so-fast food! Forget gold and silver (unless you believe in werewolves), invest heavily in LEAD (ammo), keep it dry and it will always pay future (or present) dividends! 23. The Government, it will feed itself first! And you may be on the menu!!! Good Luck! 100. Stock up on BBQ sauce! Now!

Reply

dave May 7, 2014 at 6:35 pm

That sign you have/ had the window "Forget the dog I've got a gun" to scare people, now screams I've got stuff you want.

Reply

Chris W January 19, 2011 at 12:14 am

Or a hammer…

Reply

Unreconstructed March 9, 2011 at 5:47 am

"Who knew you could make so many dishes out of the neighbors pets?! "

Unless you get caught, and end up pet food!

Reply

CaptBart November 22, 2011 at 7:24 pm

Abandoned cars – the new source for fire starter.

Reply

Synn March 18, 2011 at 4:19 pm

also goes for the metrosexual ex husband ;o)

Reply

church September 22, 2011 at 8:39 am

finly someone who think like I do amen bro…..

Reply

Bob April 17, 2012 at 5:36 am

Amen!

Reply

Synn March 18, 2011 at 4:25 pm

lmbo @ Chefbear58…good one

Reply

JHD September 27, 2012 at 11:06 am

WTF does this have to do with cheap shots re: liberals? Trust me, all my money-is-God conservative pals will be lost little crying kids if SHTF. All they've done over the last 20 years is get fat and obsess over meaningless-in-SHTF portfolios and golf games. You're kidding yourself if you don't think tons of liberals, esp. activist types, aren't well-versed in SHTF scenario stuff, have planned for bad events, and can fare well in disasters. Hell just look at how many conservatives liked the bailouts – it's NO INDICATOR of SHTF skill or mindset.

Reply

Gregory Bolton December 8, 2011 at 7:26 am

But do they have guns to protect themselves from the golden hordes?

Reply

Gregory Bolton December 8, 2011 at 7:27 am

Amen to that.

Reply

GIOVANNI January 3, 2012 at 6:14 am

BELIEVE ME, THEY DON'T HUNT WITH SPITBALLS.

Reply

giovanni January 3, 2012 at 6:28 am

as for the ultimate survival vehicle, well there really isn't one but there is an ultimate survival place. well it all depends if hollow earth really exist. if it does, then all of those willing should go there and camp out while the rest of the world fry themselves in there stupid and foolish wars. maybe the aliens in hollow earth have some good homemade piña coladas.

Reply

Chris October 10, 2012 at 3:30 pm

P = AR15
A = Mosin M91/30
C = 9mm
E = Boot knife

Reply

Carl April 4, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Crazy funny

Reply

Instructor April 15, 2012 at 6:22 am

Why the slam on National Guardsmen?

Reply

Privateer 1776 October 22, 2013 at 11:06 pm

Luck is what happens when preparedness meets opportunity. – Earl Nightingale

Reply

Jace May 1, 2014 at 8:28 am

I'd think it less about the fact idea or fact that liberals are incapable of the thought process and incapable of surviving, but more about the idea of "do you really think anyone is going to give two s**** about saving the whales when they are starving to death."

Reply

Leave a Comment

{ 24 trackbacks }