Murphy’s Laws of TEOTWAWKI

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By Joel Jefferson •  5 min read

We decided to take a lighter look at TEOTWAWKI with a Survival Cache original,  Murphy’s Laws of TEOTWAWKI.  If you know Murphy then you know, if it can happen… will.

Just to make sure we are all on the same page, the abbreviation TEOTWAWKI stands for The End Of The World As We Know It.

Murphy’s Laws of TEOTWAWKI

From Wikipedia: Murphy’s Law is an adage that is typically stated as: “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong”.

TEOTWAWKI scenario lasting for long periods

TEOTWAWKI: Have Your Own Food and Water

1.  Food, you still don’t have enough.

2.  People without backup shelters might be without shelter.

3.  People with guns and no food are finding out that people with food have guns too.

4.  Look hungry, they might leave you alone.

5.  Seed bank, the new source of wealth.

6.  Insects, it’s what’s for dinner.

not everyone will like eating insects

The Human Race Isn’t Humane When It’s Hungry

7.  Gun shots, they attract unwanted attention.

8.  Ask everyone if they have food or water, Jedi mind tricks might work on desperate people.

9. Wood burning stoves, they are like pots of gold.

10.  The less people you know, the better off you are.

11.  Mormons, suddenly they have a lot of new friends.

TEOTWAWKI, catastrophic event head

12.  Friendly hungry people…..aren’t.

13.  People who thought they could make it with just a survival knife are finding out they aren’t capable people.

14.  Satellite Dishes, they make great family dinner tables.

15.  If invited to a dinner party and you can’t figure out what’s on the menu, it’s you.

16.  Houses full of food attract the unwanted envy of hungry people.

17.  Friends who show up without food are not good friends.

18.  Electricity, the good old days.

TEOTWAWKI situation

19.  Dog Food, who knew.

20.  Cash, it’s a great way to start a fire.

money when shit hits the fan

21.  Alternative energy, you’re kicking yourself now for not investing in it.

22.  Watching your garden grow, the new Sunday afternoon sport.

Existing Institutions Aren’t Interested in Your Wellbeing

23.  The Government, it will feed itself first.

24.  Large groups of people with guns make the rules.

25.  Bad water & Montezuma’s Revenge, they have come to America.

26.  People who thought the Government, and other existing institutions, would save them, found out that they didn’t.

existing institutions

27.  Hospitals, no longer a place of healing.

28.  EMP, now everyone knows what it means.

29.  Sandy dry soil, suddenly not such a cool place to live anymore.

30.  If food is the new currency then fresh water is a hot commodity.

31.  Gold coins, they don’t taste very good.

32.  Toilet paper, should have bought more of that stuff.

Essential Skills and Food Preservation Are More Than Hobbies

33.  Ham radio operators, who are the nerds now?

34.  Burning Green Wood = Smoke / Smoke = Attention / Attention = Bad

35.  Trying to start a fire with two sticks?  Should have stocked up on more matches.

fire to keep family members warm

36. Soap making, it’s no longer just a hobby.

37. You’ll find out why people used to wash their aluminum foil.

38. Bacon grease longer gets thrown away.

39. There’s a reason our ancestors were more physically fit.

soap making

40. Talking face to face becomes the new social media.

41. The new landline will be walking to your neighbor’s house.

42. Sewing groups become popular again.

43. Food preservation isn’t leftovers in a plastic container.

 important skills and essential skills to make your own food

44. You will finally learn all your neighbors’ names.

45. Looking at your surroundings will be the hottest streaming service around.

46. Carrying a pocketknife everywhere will be required.

47. Knowing where the nearest watering hole is will be common knowledge.

48. Boredom is thing of the past, there’s shit to do.

49. You’ll learn the true meaning of recycling.

50. Natural disasters, the one thing the human race should be prepping for.

natural disasters

51. Where are all the zombies?

the walking dead

52. Most people will know what the abbreviation TEOTWAWKI stands for.

53. The most important things are what you work for because at the end of the world, no one will be handing out free stuff.

54. A shed of tools will be the new 401K.

Electricity Becomes a Thing of the Past

55. If you can create your own power, then you will be the coolest kid on the block.

56. When people find out it isn’t impossible to survive a nuclear war.

57. TEOTWAWKI, nuclear war, who’s laughing at my shelter now?

Nuclear war

58. Seeds will literally be worth more than their weight in gold.

59. Got seeds?


60. No electricity, what’s a website?

70. When playing with a stick will be the new old past time.

71. Native Americans and the three sisters…add that to your garden.

72. Skills and common sense who knew they could help you to survive…

73. Animals and small game, not so easy to hunt now.

prepare your supplies

74. Nuclear war, a scenario that society didn’t think would actually happen outside of Hollywood.

76. People that watched all TEOTWAWKI movies have all the skills…right?

77. Stockpile of essential supplies…hoarder? Nope! Mad survival skills!

78. When you assume like the rest, the rest will lead you to lose.

79. Survival shelter, the new living room.

survival shelter

80. The person with hand tools is teaching the person with power tools proper technique.

81. Power tools, the new paperweight.

A wide variety of skills will be needed at teotwawki


Joel Jefferson

Joel is one of the original founders of After college, he joined the USMC where he served as an (0302) Marine Infantry Officer. Joel is an avid outdoorsman and spends much of his free time in the mountains. Joel’s hobby is researching survival gear & weapons as well as prepping. Read his full interview here.