Murphy’s Laws of TEOTWAWKI

Murphy's Laws of TEOTWAWKIWe decided to take a lighter look TEOTWAWKI with a Survival Cache original,  Murphy’s Laws of TEOTWAWKI.  If you know Murphy then you know, if it can happen…..it will.


Murphy’s Laws of TEOTWAWKI

From Wikipedia: Murphy’s Law is an adage that is typically stated as: “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong”.

1.  Food, you still don’t have enough

2.  People without back up shelters might be without shelter

3.  People with guns and no food are finding out that people with food have guns too

4.  Look hungry, they might leave you alone.

5.  Seed bank, the new source of wealth

6.  Insects, It’s what’s for dinner

7.  Gun shots, they attract unwanted attention

8.  Ask everyone if they have food or water, Jedi mind tricks might work on desperate people

9. Wood burning stoves, they are like pots of gold

10.  The less people you know, the better off you are

11.  Mormons, suddenly they have a lot of new friends
TEOTWAWKI Survival

12.  Friendly hungry people…..aren’t

13.  People who thought they could make it with just a survival knife are finding out they can’t

14.  Satellite Dishes, they make great family dinner tables

15.  If invited to a dinner party and you can’t figure out what’s on the menu, it’s you

16.  Houses full of food attract the unwanted envy of hungry people

17.  Friends who show up without food are not good friends

18.  Electricity, the good old daysTEOTWAWKI

19.  Dog Food, who knew

20.  Cash, its a great way to start a fire

21.  Alternative energy, you’re kicking yourself now for not investing in it

22.  Watching your garden grow, the new Sunday afternoon sport

23.  The Government, it will feed itself first

24.  Large groups of people with guns make the rules

25.  Bad water & Montezuma’s Revenge, they have come to America

26.  People who thought the Government would save them, found out that it didn’t

27.  Hospitals, no longer a place of healing

28.  EMP, now everyone knows what it means

29.  Sandy dry soil, suddenly not such a cool place to live anymore

30.  If food is the new currency then fresh water is a hot commodity

31.  Gold coins, they don’t taste very good

32.  Toilet paper, should have bought more of that stuff

33.  Ham radio operators, who are the nerds now?

34.  Burning Green Wood = Smoke / Smoke = Attention / Attention = Bad

35.  Trying to start a fire with two sticks?  Should have stocked up on more matches

Please add your Murphy’s Laws of TEOTWAWKI to the comments below.

Save



Joel Jefferson
Written by Joel Jefferson

Joel is one of the original founders of SurvivalCache.com. After college, he joined the USMC where he served as an (0302) Marine Infantry Officer. Joel is an avid outdoorsman and spends much of his free time in the mountains. Joel’s hobby is researching survival gear & weapons as well as prepping. Read his full interview here. Read more of Joel's articles.

146 thoughts on “Murphy’s Laws of TEOTWAWKI”

  1. 37.) Those neighbors you called "crazy" for trying to warn you about what just happened, they look awful smart now that it has happened.

    Reply
    • Seriously. And I see they have a reality show on tv bothering them. All I can think it, "leave the Amish alone, they are the only sane people in this country!"

      Reply
    • actually, if you have the gas and a power inverter and best of all, and maybe some spare car batteries, that sit down mower becomes a generator. Necessity is the mother of invention 🙂

      Reply
  2. For want of a firing pin, the weapon was lost. For want of a weapon the skirmish was lost. For want of a victory, the food was lost. For want of the food the lives were lost. All for the want of a pin.

    Reply
  3. The boy scouts always had it right "Be Prepared" perhaps some day my kids will find all this stuff and think "Boy dad was a little crazy" and I hope that's the way it ends up. Hate to think they have to come running for food because the world went crazy.

    Reply
  4. The boy scouts always had it right "Be Prepared" perhaps some day my kids will find all this stuff and think "Boy dad was a little crazy" and I hope that's the way it ends up. Hate to think they have to come running for food because the world went crazy.

    Reply
  5. Bouillon powder. Not really a spice, but a hot cup of broth after being in the cold all day is a treat. Lawry's is good on almost anything. The worst freaking part about an apocalypse is finding/making butter! Admit it. Any food you can manage to scrounge up WTSHTF would taste better with butter. I saw a documentary about a lake underneath Antarctica called Lake Vostok, and a Russian scientist that lives there said the best way to warm up is to eat a stick of butter.

    Reply
  6. Glad to see the Ridgeback mentioned. I had one for seven years before losing him to cancer. He was awesome! Had more personality than some humans I know. In fact, my family used to kid and call him Scooby-Doo, as he behaved more like a person than a dog. He was very loyal to me, and would listen usually, but if he got it into his head he was going to do something, he would do it, no matter how much I tried to stop him. Not to say he was aggressive or attacked anybody, but if he wanted to scout or chase an animal, he would, so they can be stubborn at times. And he wasn't a neglected dog that only went out on walks, he was my right hand for those seven years, even going cross country with me once. I haven't had another dog since him, and he died in '04, only because I'm still of the mindset that he was the best dog ever and no dog could live up to him. Someday that will change and I'll consider another dog. But kudos for listing the Ridgeback, they are a great breed.

    Reply
  7. I've always had German Shepherds and they are great great dogs. I am very familiar with the Ridgebacks. I would choose a Rhodie over any other dog for survival purposes. No costest.

    Reply
  8. I went with the Ka-Bar Cutlass, mostly for the Ka-Bar name…my Ka-Bar I had when I was in the Corps, although it became rusted and corroded with our many surf entries and exits, always cut whatever I needed to cut…we'll see with this machete.

    Reply
    • National Park? All of them? Really… that was kinda my idea of a fall back plan. It’s the closest place within 500 miles that doesn’t have convienence stores and lots of people. Figured it would be a better place than near a crowded city. What would be a better option?

      Reply
  9. P.A.C.E-
    Primary
    Alternate
    Contingency
    Emergency
    If you end every pac list with something you can make from your suroundings then your set.
    EX: Fire
    lighter
    matches
    firesteel
    bowdrill

    Reply
  10. Stock up on dryer lint. It lights easily and as long as you're doing laundry you've got an endless supply and it's free. You still need to provide a spark but that and some dry sticks is what I use all winter long in my wood stove.

    Reply
  11. There once was a man named Larmen,
    who saved and horded rolled Charmin.
    The End Of The World As We Know It will come he said.
    And if you try to swipe my wipe,
    I’ll fill your thieving head with lead.

    Reply
  12. 40. The National Guardsman corner are guarding the other National Guardsmen on the corner – and nobody else.
    41. The National Guardsmen on the corner can be divided into two groups – the scared and the starving, the scared will buy ammunition, the starving will sell it.

    Reply
  13. 41a. The starving National Guardsmen will sell their ammunition for food not "money"
    41b. Occasionally in cold parts freezing National Guardsmen will sell ammunition for anything
    flammable, making them the only people to accept US currency.

    Reply
  14. Your empowered ,independent ex wife,whom hated your gut's,suddenly decides that she still love's you and those annoying pastime's like hunting and fishing is suddenly so cool.

    Reply
  15. Cat Food: Who cares if it doesn't make its own gravy???
    The Toilet: Don't flush it just yet, you'll want the water in the tank, eh?
    Your Spoiled Kids: Bad behaviour no longer seems so cute.

    Reply
  16. He means to exchange ammo for other goods.
    .40s are not very common around these parts but 22LRs are common everywhere.
    And then maybe .45 acp or 38 spl. but 22LR ammo would be excellent money.

    Reply
  17. Henry…If you're relying on a 9mm as currency…you 're going to come out short in any close quarter exchange. You honestly need to step up to a good .40 such as the S&W M&P. A terriffic hand-gun and very concealable. Tom M

    Reply
  18. On-line survival info–if only you'd printed it out when computers still worked.

    Rottweilers and looters–a perfect symbiosis.

    Your local police force–the best-equipped gang in town.

    Gasoline once again 25 cents a gallon–in pre-1965 coinage.

    Liberals–doncha miss 'em?

    Reply
  19. Does no one watch or read end of the earth stories, like the TV series "Walking Dead". Survival comes down to luck and how pre prepared you are for it, physically, mentally, and what skills you have.Getting out of a city if you live in one is going to be the biggest challenge. Once out what then? People, uninformed, might follow you then what? You got a cool place to go great so does a 1,000 other people. (Dumb idea of the week, set up in a National park.) All plans go to sh.. on first contact. Luck will be the decider.

    Reply
  20. On-line survival info–if only you'd printed it out when computers still worked.

    Rottweilers and looters–a perfect symbiosis.

    Your local police force–the best-equipped gang in town.

    Gasoline once again 25 cents a gallon–in pre-1965 coinage.

    Liberals–doncha miss 'em?

    Reply
  21. A big threat maybe not addressed is EMP attack. A Faraday cage to protect any valuable electronics such as a flashlight, radio, etc.

    Reply
  22. When you think you are safe, secure and quiet?…. check your mags, load one in the "pipe", double the guard (if you can) and get ready for some "fun"!

    Don't bother concealing your handgun, nobody else is…. but conceal your backup!

    Who knew you could make so many dishes out of the neighbors pets?!

    This proves you can "shake and bake" ANYTHING!

    Interstate packed with abandoned cars…. the new "convenience store"

    in the woods- no wildlife around…. somebody else is there and they probably aren't "friendly"

    fencing around the garden now keeps the deer… and neighbors out!

    Reply
    • Funny thing about those who say 9mm, .38, .32 ACP (or whatever) are worthless calibers… they never accept the challenge of taking a hit from one to proof the worthlessness of the caliber.

      Reply
  23. tuna and 9 mm shells ; folding burn anything fire box stove ; water still ; water condenser ; thermal wrap ; sleeping bag ; tree house ;

    Reply
  24. #43 Those with loaded guns won’t buy your wares if their freezing, starving or est; they’ll just take’em.

    #44 Avoidance of others is imperative (anyone outside your group) is a potential threat to your gear and rations and should be viewed and treated accordingly.

    #45 Saltwater is death. Yet add heat and its salt for food and fresh water.

    #46 Ammunition should be rationed for protection. There’s more than one way to skin a cat.

    Reply
  25. a 6ft woodin fence will falls easly in the wind… it will fall for hungry neighbors.
    a gun is just a piece of metal unless you know how to handle it.
    7.62×39 cheap, abundent, hits like a truck… one shot one kill.
    the less electronics in a car the better (older vehicals)

    Reply
  26. <11. Mormons, suddenly they have a lot of new friends>

    My next-door neighbor is LDS (I'm not).She has asked me on numerous occasions to accept UPS shipments of storable food while she's at work as an RN/surgical assistant. I keep reminding her I have more stored food than she does just to keep her on her toes. When TSHTF, she can have a seat in my evac vehicle.

    Reply
    • My wife and I have a good friend who is LDS. We've helped their charity a few time (they make peanut butter) and they usually let us keep a jar or two of what we've helped make. Then this year we were invited to use the canning facility. We went with a group of church members (that's when I found out I'm a "normal"; I don't think I've ever been called that before:-) ) and put together #10 cans of the stuff we wanted. Paid their price for it and the group made up what they needed plus some extra for the "Bishop's pantry". We picked up 9 boxes (6 #10 cans each) for much less than wholesale. Filled some holes for us and helped others out as well. The LDS pantry (AKA Mormon Pantry) is a great idea; their history can certainly teach us some things if we'll pay attention.

      Reply
  27. You can't be prepared for everything, but the one thing you can do that will allow you to deal with almost anything is be mentally prepared for anything.

    Reply
  28. An AR will keep the bad guys pinned down behind the car.
    An AK will go thru the car.
    And a picture of my mother in law will make all of you drop your weapons.

    Reply
  29. The 1975 Dodge Dart .
    1) immune to an EMP
    2) No one will steal it
    3) People laughing to hard when you drive by to do you any harm.
    4) The cloud of smoke will Keep the insects away
    5) And if it gets destroyed WHO CARES ?
    The 1975 Dodge Dart Proud sponser of TEOTWAWKI

    Reply
  30. MANY YEARS BACK WE ALL READ THAT IN HISTORY, BUFFALO BILL SHOT DOWN HUNDREDS OR PERHAPS THOUSANDS OF BUFFALOES IN ORDER TO MAKE WAY FOR THE NEW TRANSPORTATION (THE TRAIN) THIS WAS VERY SAD. NOW THERE IS ANOTHER REASON TO TAKE DOWN THE BUFFALOES, (FOOD) THAT IS IF THERE IS ANY BUFFALOES LEFT AFTER A NUKE STRIKE. THIS WILL ALSO BE VERY SAD.

    Reply
  31. Years of prepping,ready for anything. TSHTF and you are finally on that family vacation out of the country you always wanted to go on.

    Reply
  32. Murphy's law is a paradox… If anything that can go wrong (or be wrong), will go wrong (will be wrong). Therefore, these could be wrong, which would make it right, which would make it wrong, which would make it right, which would make it wrong, which would make it right which would…………..

    Reply
  33. 42 Irradiated food is still food.
    43 Anyone who thought a .22 would be adequate for combat against mutants and bandits are dead
    44 Spending money on a new game console instead of a reloading bench was stupid
    45 Don't bother scavenging in the big city ruins they're highly irradiated.

    Reply
    • My axe, desperation, pms for chocolate and hungry stomach would beg to differ on your theory of a mythical "working vending machine that you can't break into"

      Reply
  34. HOW TO COOK RICE OVERNIGHT WITH FIVE MINUTES OF PROPANE AND A SPACE BLANKET:
    Set up camp stove w/16 oz. Propane bottle ($5.55 for two @ Walmart). Bring pot of water to boil (4 minutes). Dump in rice & any additions (seasoning, salt, terioki sauce, etc.). Let boil one minute; shut down stove to save Propane. Immediately wrap pot in space blanket. Place wrapped pot in styrofoam drink cooler. Fill cooler around pot w/plastic packing peanuts, bubblewrap, crumpled newspapers, and/or a blanket. Close lid. LEAVE CLOSED FOR SIX HOURS (overnight).
    OPEN LID. Perfect hot dinner and only used 5 minutes of Propane. That Propane bottle will last for months if you use it only 5 minutes/day in this way.

    Reply
  35. You discover that sex stamina greatly decreases along with the low food intake & that your wife has found a new job that blows away trading

    Reply
  36. People who were devastated by Sandy complain about loss of power when they were surrounded by power by way of vehicles (provided their engines weren't flooded). They merely had to buy a good inverter and an extension cord and start the car (plug the inverter into the cigarette lighter). Even if they were flooded, they just remove batteries from flooded cars for a short term power source. Chaining multiple batteries together in the right way and connecting your inverter to one of the batteries provides an even longer source of power.

    Reply
  37. I think you mean the Amish not the Mormons. As for matches. Real simple solution. Get a magnifying glass. Lasts forever. Good point re insects. Around 80% protein and no weird parasites to worry about. Beans! Easy to grow, easy to store and packed with protein. Reality check though. Man has always evolved forwards not backwards. We are not psychologically prepared for reverse gear. I suspect Hundreds of millions will simply commit suicide. I work in the oil industry. I'm afraid Teotwaki is not far off.

    Reply
  38. How long will trees last as we burn up the last remaining cheap oil? Bottomline. 7 Billion people on planet earth simply won't work. And everyday you hear about wonderful break throughs in modern medicine and how this new vaccine will save millions of lives in Africa or where ever. Oh yeah they really going to thank you for that one, frigging idiots. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

    Reply
    • Over-population is a myth. Take the world population and divide it by the square footage of the State of Alaska alone and you will see that every swinging dick on the planet will have 450+ square foot of living space in Alaska ALONE. You don't sincerely believe technology cannot overcome the fuels issue do you? We are the most advanced beings on the planet. The powers that be are withholding information from us now. The jet engine was developed back in the mid to late 40's. I would bet there has been greater developments in the propulsion industry than the powers that be are letting on to. Put at least a little faith in your fellow beings. Keep a wary eye on those that seek power and control over others. Infowars.com

      Reply
  39. that is right FTW God put animals there for us to eat, now we need kill the animal respectfully but darnit if the stores stop selling food Iam going hunting! Happy hunting and fishing

    Reply
  40. 45. Those neighbors who called you "crazy" for prepping and trying to warn them about what just happened, are now part of the hungry hord, with a battering ram, trying to break down your door ! MORAL: Be very careful who you tell what you're doing !

    Reply
  41. 45. Those neighbors who called you "crazy" for prepping and trying to warn them about what just happened, are now part of the hungry hord, with a battering ram, trying to break down your door !
    MORAL: Be very careful who you tell what you're doing !

    Reply
  42. Look hungry, fine! Look weak, be on the menu! No claws, flat teeth, weak jaws, can't run fast or far, tastes like canned chicken or canned pork (who can tell the difference anymore), dumb enough to walk into your Kill Zone for the cost of a fake promise, yes, Long Pork is the future of not-so-fast food! Forget gold and silver (unless you believe in werewolves), invest heavily in LEAD (ammo), keep it dry and it will always pay future (or present) dividends! 23. The Government, it will feed itself first! And you may be on the menu!!! Good Luck! 100. Stock up on BBQ sauce! Now!

    Reply
  43. That sign you have/ had the window "Forget the dog I've got a gun" to scare people, now screams I've got stuff you want.

    Reply
  44. Sorry if this idea has been suggested before, laminated phone numbers and addresses of all family and friends. In case the cell phones go down, you may find a hard line. In a whatever situation trying to remember this may be difficult.

    Reply
  45. This may not be the right forum for this line of thought, and I apologize in advance, but has anyone talked about advanced directives or plans if a love one is already in the hospital prior to a whatever situation or becomes severely injured or sick after. I only ask this because I have a love one in the hospital now.

    Reply
  46. when russia and china will nuke usa in few areas….they will rush to mexico…and guess what? mexican will take revenge…and wont let you pass…make friends with mexicans now. it may be usefull bugging out down nmexico when all america is poluted by radiations and kemical weapons…usa will have at least 2 atomic bombs on their heads, karma of japan bombings…murphys law is one thing, karma law is another one…sometime they fuse tgether.

    Reply
  47. Well, if it's bad enough, many of us will probably find out what "Long Pig" tastes like. And remember, long range is the next best thing to being there. If you get wet, you're too close.

    Reply

Leave a Comment